


Merlin's Just A Fast Learner

by a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Timeline, Canon Era, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, and merlin is also an idiot, but for different reasons, but they're in love, in which arthur's an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-06-30 07:41:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15747297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle/pseuds/a_fuck_it_kind_of_lifestyle
Summary: A mysterious sorcerer saved the army of Camelot at Camlan, but more than that, he saved Arthur Pendragon. Upon returning home, Arthur discovers the errors of his ways, and vows to correct his father's wrongs. He starts by lifting the ban on magic. But he realizes to fully understand the new world, he needs a court sorcerer. So he asks his most trusted friend to learn magic. Merlin, being an idiot, said yes. He quickly finds out that hiding his knowledge of magic while doing magic is almost as hard as hiding his deep unending love for Arthur. Arthur is still an oblivious idiot in every aspect of his life besides Uther, and doesn't realize that he's in love with his obvious sorcerer friend Merlin.





	1. Goodbye Magic Ban!

“Merlin, I want to talk to you about something very important.”

Arthur’s stance was kingly and noble, his hands grasped in front of him to compound the seriousness of the situation. Merlin couldn’t resist ruining it. “Well, I had noticed you’d gained a few pounds, but I didn’t think it was that grave a situation. Although, now…” Merlin looked Arthur up and down, not seeing but fully expecting the shoe he got thrown at him. But it was worth the neck pain. Arthur let out a breathless chuckle and his whole body relaxed as he settled his hands on Merlin’s shoulders.

Merlin tried to pretend it was the shoe’s fault that he was a little breathless as he looked into Arthur’s eyes. “Merlin. This is serious. It’s about magic.”

“My father was a good man.” Arthur let the statement hang in the air, bowing his head as if to gather the courage for his next words. Merlin was glad; it gave him the time to arrange his face in a way that didn’t reveal his true feelings about Uther. He stopped toward Arthur, reaching out to touch an arm that instead pushed him away. “No, please, I need to say this. My father was a good man, but he made many mistakes in his lifetime. It was his own mistakes that led him to pursue hatred and bloodshed rather than peace and unity. He punished others to assuage his guilt, and I would be a fool -no, worse, a coward- not to recognize it.” He paused again and swallowed. Merlin felt his eyes well up with tears for the toll that he knew these words were having on Arthur. He was so wrapped up in feeling for Arthur, he didn’t stop to think where this speech was going.

Arthur finally looked Merlin in the eyes. “Magic has been used in attempts on my life time and time again. But so has the sword.” Merlin let out a little gasp. Hearing Arthur say ‘magic’ in this way, a way filled with not contempt but compassion, took his breath away. He began to see where the conversation was going. “And I can not deny that without the sorcerer at the Battle of Camlan, we would have been destroyed. I myself would be dead.”

Merlin felt like time was standing still.

“All this to say… I don’t believe magic is evil.” Merlin was fully crying. He turned away so Arthur wouldn’t see. “It is a tool; sometimes a weapon; sometimes a shield; sometimes something entirely other. I will not punish my people for using the tools or talents they require to survive. And I will not prosecute my people for the sins of my father. Not any longer. I want to overturn the ban on magic.”

Merlin was sure of it now. Time had stopped. He wiped desperately at his eyes, willing them to stop crying. Whether or not his eyes burned gold, he wasn’t sure, but the tears finally stopped. Arthur mistook his long silence for anger. He took a step toward Merlin’s back, stopping short at the rigidity of his shoulders.

“Merlin, I know what you’ve said about magic in the past, but I’d hoped you would see-”

“Yes. Yes, I do. See. And- I think… it’s brilliant. I think you’re the greatest king Camelot has ever had.” Merlin turned around abruptly, finally returning Arthur’s gaze. “Magic should be free.”

Arthur let a soft smile cross his face. They stared at each other for a moment, united in a happiness that felt entirely different for each of them. Merlin felt like his joy was about to flood over and make him do something stupid, like kiss Arthur or conjure fireworks. Instead he snapped back into his role as servant. “Shall I schedule an announcement, sire?” Arthur nodded, but he reached out to stop Merlin before he passed him.

“Wait,” Arthur’s eyebrows furrowed, and he looked down at his hand on Merlin’s arm. “Merlin, you’re shaking.”

Merlin grinned. “Just low blood sugar, my lord.” His words sounded a bit hysterical, even to him. Arthur just shook his head.

“Well, eat something before you schedule the announcement then. You’ll be even more useless starving than you are already.” Arthur’s grin faded to a fond smile as he watched Merlin go. He must have needed food as well, because he could’ve sworn he heard fireworks go off as the door closed.


	2. Hello, Magic!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magic has a... well, magical effect on Camelot and Arthur's mood. Many wounds are healed and old feuds mended, and Arthur makes one wise decision that might just be his stupidest one yet.

The celebration was enormous. It may have been bigger than the celebration for the victory at Camlan. The parade was attended by everyone in the city, the parties themselves lasted nearly a week long, and there were reports of those even in the far reaches of the kingdom having feasts for days. Magic was blossoming everyone you looked. Magic garlands full of flowers that did not die were strung along the rooftops, singing porcelain pots became a fast trend, and floating lanterns kept the parties going late into the night. 

There were many special moments for Merlin that week: watching Gaius using magic at the royal feast and seeing his smile at the raucous applause, the druids being welcomed guests in the castle; the symbolic burning of an Uther scarecrow in the traditional witch pyre (no one felt it was necessary to mention that last one to Arthur.)

But Merlin’s favorite moment of the week was the ending ceremony of the celebrations: a dedication of a section of the outer wall of the city to the memoriam of those killed in the persecution of sorcerers. It was Gwen’s idea, and the whole city stopped their celebrations to watch the dedication ceremony. Ivy wreaths were hung on pegs in the wall, decorated by magic or non-magic means by families and friends of those killed. The druids had many to adorn the wall. Gaius had several. Gwen put up her father’s and, with Arthur, Morgana’s. Arthur also helped some of the druids hang Mordred’s. Lastly, Arthur hung his mother’s. No one ever mentioned the tears their king openly shed on that day; it was too sacred a day for that. Merlin stayed and watched everyone hang their wreaths, until almost everyone was gone, then hung his own: for Freya and his father.

A few weeks after the ceremony, things seemed to be back to normal; with the exception of a larger amount of steam dragons flying about and a few more laundry baskets floating along by themselves. Arthur and the court did have to deal with a lot more complaints about magic; most of the culprits turned out to be irresponsible kids testing out their grandfather’s magic books for the first time. It was finally decided that an age limit of 10 years old would be put on magic, with the exception of the druids or those born with natural gifts. 

Merlin thought about telling Arthur about his magic many times. He opened his mouth to say it, even, but the words would never come out. Finally, Arthur called Merlin into his chambers one night after most of the castle was asleep.

“Sire, what on earth do you need me for at this hour?” Merlin complained as he opened the door. Arthur frowned, hands on his hips. His most patronizing stance.

“I’m so sorry, Merlin, I always forget that you room with Gaius due to your incredibly old age. Please remind me not to ever ask you out for drinks with the knights again. You  _ do _ need your rest.”

Merlin threw a pillow at him. Quite well deserved, too. “What do you want? A muzzle? I’m hoping it’s a muzzle.”

Arthur considered throwing the pillow back at him, but decided against it. “Actually, I’ve something of the utmost importance to discuss with you.” He sat down at his table, motioning for Merlin to sit next to him before pulling his chair out so they could be face to face. Merlin was a bit thrown off, but he sat down, and was immediately more thrown because Arthur grasped his hands and held them tight. 

“Erm… okay? What is it you want to discuss, sire?”  _ Please don’t get clammy hands, please don’t get clammy hands. Is there an anti clammy hands spell?  _

Arthur didn’t seem to notice Merlin’s bewilderment. He held Merlin’s eye contact intensely. “Merlin, you are my closest and most trusted friend. I’ve always felt I’ve been able to speak with you about anything. I hope you’ve felt the same about me.” His grip lessoned on Merlin’s hands as he seemed to wait for a reply. Merlin didn’t notice the silence for a moment because Arthur had started to softly ghost across his knuckles with his thumb.

“Oh, uh, of course, my lord.” A familiar guilt gripped his heart, but he pushed it away. “It’s like I’ve known you all my life. Longer than.” Well, that was true.

It made Arthur smile on any count. “I’m glad to hear that. Now, Merlin, I’m sure you’ve been aware of how I’ve struggled with handling magical matters in the court.” 

“Oh, you only complain about it every five seconds,” 

Arthur laughed lightly, but kept going. “I’ve decided that I, along with my advisors, must know more about magic itself in order to fairly enforce these laws.” Merlin felt, once again, that he should know where this conversation was going, but he had no idea. “So I’ve decided to appoint a court sorcerer. I knew I needed to choose someone I trusted, someone wise and level-headed and incorruptible. When I considered all the qualities they’d need, I could only think of one option.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “Gwen?” 

Arthur bowed his head all the way down to his hands. Merlin looked around, bewildered. He had absolutely no idea what was going on until he saw Arthur’s shoulders start to shake with laughter. “Oh my god, Merlin! You are so thick in the head sometimes, it makes me doubt all those times you’ve said something halfway profound.” He laughed so hard he snorted, laughed so hard he cried. By the time he had enough breath to sit up straight, Merlin’s dumb ass had finally caught up to the conversation. 

“You want  _ me _ to be the court sorcerer?” 

Arthur nodded, still grinning in amazement at that lovable dork. “Court sorcerer, royal sorcerer, court magician, whichever sounds most fitting to you. Now, I know it will be incredibly difficult, but I am hoping with some help from Gaius and extra time to study, you will be able to pick up  _ some rudimentary  _ skills.” 

Merlin gaped. Arthur let go of his hands and reached up, using a gentle hand to push his jaw shut. The soft act did not help Merlin’s mind gather itself into something coherent. Arthur was asking his most trusted confidant,  _ him _ , to learn the  _ rudimentary  _ skills of magic. Him. Learn magic. In front of Arthur. And report on his progress. 

“So, will you do it?” 

“How could I say no?” Arthur was so relieved he actually  _ hugged _ Merlin. He patted Arthur mildly on the back, trying to enjoy the hug through the numbness of his shock. He said his goodbyes in a blur, and was almost out the door when his mind cleared enough for one thought. “Wait, did you say ‘extra time to study’? Does that mean you’re going to give me time off?” 

Arthur smirked. “Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin. With all the magic you’ll learn, it will take you no time at all to do your daily chores for me.”

Merlin scoffed.  _ He has no idea the kind of hassle it is to take care of a giant clotpole like him, does he? _

_ _


	3. Arthur wants to come! Can he? Oh please, Merlin, can he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Happy Monday, and Happy Labor Day to those celebrating! Hopefully this will take you away from your "fun" family celebrations long enough to make them bearable :D I wrote this chapter after drinking an entire bottle of wine, so I'm pretty proud of how little editing I had to do for Tipsy Me. Anyway, I've been ramping up the chapters and soon an actual plot might emerge! Look forward to seeing your reactions to this chapter (and THANK YOU THANK YOU for all of your comments so far! They make my day!)

“Merlin! Where are you off to?” Arthur trotted alongside Merlin in a way Merlin was used to, with roles reversed. He narrowed his eyes quizzically at his master, but smiled. Arthur was obviously in a good mood.

“... Just off to my first lesson with Gaius, my lord.” 

“Ah, your first  _ magic  _ lesson, eh?” Arthur was almost bouncing, he was so joyful. 

“Yes, sire. My first… magic lesson.” Saying the word still gave Merlin a thrill through his whole body. Arthur seemed to notice the shudder in his body and wrapped an arm around Merlin, rubbing chummily. 

“Well, then, I hope you don’t mind if I come with you. See what it’s all about, at least for the first few lessons, eh, Merlin?”

Merlin couldn’t say no to a smile like that. He wrapped his arm around Arthur in return and grinned, laughing at himself internally. How did his life end up like this? Faking learning magic in front of the king of Camelot sounded like a terrible idea! But the idea of Arthur watching him do magic, holding his breath as he peered attentively over his shoulder, breaking out into an amazed smile when he accomplished the simplest of spells-it was too much to resist. All it took was a little underachieving, right? 

WRONG. IT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. 

Merlin opened the door to Gaius’s chambers, reluctantly pulling himself out from under Arthur’s arm to tug on the cool metal handle. “Merlin! Wonderful, we can start our  _ pretend _ -” 

“GAIUS! Arthur has decided to oversee my  _ magic  _ lessons!” Merlin’s voice was over-loud and over-cheerful even to himself. But Arthur didn’t seem to notice. God bless that oblivious clotpole.

Gaius whirled around, a lime green potion bubbling and smoking in his hands. He’d gotten very into magic potion making ever since the ban was lifted. This was obviously the case now, as the second he slammed it back down on the table behind his back, it started singing a classic operatic piece. “Sorry!” Gaius muttered, shuffling his ingredients around and adding a few before the potion began to quiet down. “Still not used to… being able…”

Arthur chuckled. “No need to explain, Gaius, I completely understand. Now, shall we begin?” He looked around for Merlin, as if not having him at his side was a loss, and he couldn’t concentrate on anything else until he regained it. He stepped over to Merlin casually, putting a strong hand on the small of Merlin’s back and using it to urge him forward. “Come on, Merlin, don’t be a girl.”

Merlin laughed nervously, making eye contact with Gaius and trying to communicate his building panic through his gaze. He received no relief from it, however, as Gaius seemed just as perplexed and anxious about the situation. 

“Of course, my lord. Merlin, erm, would you, just… sit here, please.” He motioned to the bench across the table from him, taking a seat himself. Gaius swept the herbs and liquids that had obviously been for the potion aside. Merlin sat, staring at Gaius as Arthur sank genially onto the worn seat by his side. 

“Okay. Now, to begin.” Gaius glanced quickly between the two young men sitting across from him. “You have to understand, first and foremost, that magic is the most sacred of arts.” He tried to appear neutral, as though he was saying this to both of them, but Merlin recognized that he was speaking mostly to Arthur. “It is as ancient as the sea, and as such, is part of the natural elements of the universe. It will present itself differently in each of us, coming naturally to some and with more practice to others.” Arthur, nodded, attentive, as Merlin watched out of the corner of his eye. He wondered again if he shouldn’t just say he was born with the gift, right then and there. But then Arthur’s words about trust and the pressure of his hands when he said it came back to him, and he pressed his lips tighter together.

Arthur was impatient to begin. “So what will we- I’m sorry- what will  _ Merlin _ be learning today?”

Gaius tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Today I will teach you one of the simplest of spells. Moving objects with your mind. For natural sorcerers-” Gaius grinned slightly in spite of himself at the memory of his first meeting with Merlin, and Merlin had to press his lips even tighter to keep from returning it, “-this task comes naturally. An instinctual thought process turned to action by the world around him. Or her.” Gaius cleared his throat. Arthur didn’t seem to notice. Merlin could feel Arthur’s fingers down at his side excitedly tapping his hand against his leg, and because of how close he was sitting to him, Merlin’s. It didn’t help Merlin concentrate. 

“So how does a… not natural learn how to do this? Like Merlin?” He bumped Merlin’s shoulder with his own, playfully. Merlin grinned weakly in return.

“Ah, yes. Unfortunately, it is simply the power of thought...”

“So, you just look at an object and say, ‘Move’?” Arthur asked incredulously. “Well, the amount of times I’ve laid in bed and said that to the plate of food laying on my desk…”

“You must be a bloody terrible sorcerer then,” Merlin blurted out, unable to stop himself. Arthur laughed, punching him in the leg. Honestly, it hurt more than it should have.

“And yet I’ve still never had to get out of bed for breakfast. How  _ does _ that happen, Merlin?” Merlin stared at him dully. The perks of having a servant. 

“Off the subject of Arthur being a spoiled sot, is there anything else we need to know, Gaius?”

Gaius paused. It was an expression Merlin knew well; he was racking his brain for any wisdom. “Just… picture the action you want clearly in your mind. Where and how you want the object to move. It’s a common mistake to have objects bump into things or keep moving farther than you’ve intended. Visualization is key.” 

Merlin laughed in spite of himself. He knew Gaius was telling him exactly how to authentically mess up, but he just sounded like phony positive affirmations from a self help book. 

Arthur clasped his hands, rubbing them together as if he was to start lifting logs or swinging swords. “Alright, Gaius. Do we just… begin?”

Gaius nodded. “Just be cautious.” Merlin was the one to nod this time. Arthur’s words processed in his head a little too late, though, and he almost got whiplash from turning his head so fast. 

“What did you say?” He asked sharply. Arthur seemed taken aback, but also… no, nothing else. He was imagining it. 

“I asked if we just begin- the magic.” Arthur drew a breath, his eyes now concerned. “Are you alright, Merlin? You’re looking rather pale…” 

Merlin shrugged, turning away so Arthur wouldn’t see the color rise in his cheeks. “I just didn’t realize you would be… doing magic… with me.” Arthur shrugged, as if to say, why not? Merlin tried to be sassy and strong. “And of course I’m pale, you cabbage head, I live in Camelot. The sun shines about once a year here, and I always seem to be washing your knickers when it does!”

Arthur laughed, and Merlin couldn’t help but laugh with him. His anxiety seemed to melt away at the sight of Arthur’s helplessly wide smile. “Always complaining, you. Let’s see some objects move on their own, shall we?”

Merlin gritted his teeth and glanced at the cup laying on the table near him. “Might as well.” 

What had he gotten himself into?


	4. A Little Fooling Around with Arthur and Bowls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise a plot is emerging in what I'm currently drafting, it'll get to you soon, and I'm excited about it. For now, enjoy Merlin and Arthur fooling around with magic! (and who knows, I might deliver on a naughtier version of that phrase later on)

“Okay, the spell is  _ Movere _ . Moh-vare-eh.” Gaius said patiently. He put a bowl in front of each of them. His eyes flitted between the two; Merlin could feel the force of his stare telling him to mess up, believably. Merlin just wasn’t sure he could. Hell, moving things with his mind came to him without even as simple a spell as  _ movere _ . How could he stop his eyes from flashing gold?

He glanced at Arthur quickly. He was leaning over the bowl, a ringed hand outstretched toward the object like he could push it from several inches away. “Mooo-verrr-ahhh… mooo-verha!” He alternated between sounding like a cow and an angry mystic. Merlin bit his lip to keep from laughing. Arthur finally looked up to see Merlin’s grin. “Alright, turnip-head, let’s see you do it then,” he gestured, frustrated, at the bowl in front of Merlin. Then he waited. And watched.

Oh, this was what Merlin got for being such an insufferable smartass. He nodded, resigned to his fate. 

“Remember what I’ve taught you, Merlin,” Gaius interjected. Merlin might have been imagining it, but he thought he heard hesitation in his voice. 

Merlin looked at the bowl, concentrated.  _ Don’t move. Bowl, all I’m asking of you is that you don’t move. Not an inch. I’m begging you. Oh my god, I’m talking to a bowl. This is the path of the greatest sorcerer in the five kingdoms. I’m talking to a bowl.  _

“Well, Merlin, are you going to do it, or just sit there making moon eyes at a bowl like an idiot?”

Merlin huffed. “Don’t rush me. I’m just…erm… connecting to the world around me. Magic is the fabric of the universe, and all that.”

Arthur huffed right back at him. “Well can you hurry up and become one with the bowl already? I’ve got a speech to give at a welcoming ceremony tonight, and it’s not going to write itself.”

“Well, don’t let me keep you…” Merlin muttered.

Arthur shook his head, making eye contact with Gaius over the top of Merlin’s mop of hair. “He actually thinks  _ I’m  _ going to write the speech? Gaius, I think you’d better stop Merlin before his brain turns to bowl too. I think the process has already started.” 

Merlin kicked Arthur in the shin. Arthur yelped, standing. “Sorry. Got my leg confused with my bowl.” Arthur smacked him in the arm. 

“Get going, sorcerer. Mooverah. MOOOVERAHHH.” Arthur’s bowl moved nowhere. Merlin, luckily did not have to pretend to be distracted for the next thirty seconds, because his brain was still trying to recover from Arthur Pendragon calling him ‘sorcerer’ in a commanding tone. He could already feel his lizard brain concocting a very particular dream with that soundbite. 

“Mooo….” Merlin whispered. He looked up to Gaius, giving him a little wink as he horribly mispronounced the spell. “Verdddd,”

“There’s no D in this spell, Merlin.” Arthur scolded. Merlin opened his mouth to make a dick joke, then decided against it. Any more thinking about dicks around Arthur today and he’d have a different movement problem to deal with.

“Sorry,  _ my lord _ . How’s  _ your spell _ going?” 

“Swimmingly!” Arthur actually sounded smug. Merlin looked over, surprised, to see that Arthur’s bowl was in the same place as it had been ten minutes ago. “I think it’s moved about a centimeter that way, see?” He pointed excitedly at a little notch in the wood. Merlin couldn’t help but smile and nod encouragingly at Arthur’s childlike joy as he examined his ‘progress’. Merlin made quick eye contact with Gaius, who shook his head the slightest bit, a smile tugging at his lips. 

The two took turns muttering, whispering, and shouting the spell at their bowls, each time mispronouncing the word so much that Merlin caught Gaius wincing several times. Gaius, though, kept patiently and slowly correcting them, bit by bit. A couple of times as they got closer to the true spell, Merlin felt the tug in his gut and hyperfocus that he associated with his magic. Every fiber in his body wanted to flash gold and move that bowl, exact spell or not. His magic was sure of its instincts. 

Arthur noticed this once, watching him as he stood and yelled at the bowl, legs twitching and arms hugging himself in what he was sure was an awkward-looking pose in an effort to restrain himself. “Merlin, what in god’s name are you doing with your legs? You look like you have scurvy.” He stepped toward Merlin, laying a hand on his shoulder. Merlin jerked away, saying the first thing that came to his head. “Have to pee!” 

Arthur made a ridiculous face and retracted his hand, both of which Merlin only saw out of the corner of his eye. But it made him laugh, distracting him enough that he couldn’t stop his eyes from flashing gold. “Movere!” he yelled frantically, a beat after the bowl flew across the room, but Arthur didn’t notice in the excitement that followed. 

Arthur whooped, pointing at the bowl like it held all the secrets of the universe, and spun around to Merlin. “Merlin! You’ve done it! You bloody idiot, I can’t believe it!” He ran at Merlin, wrapping him in a hug so tight Merlin could feel his ribs on his internal organs. Arthur picked him up and spun him around, laughing and hysterical. Merlin was almost convinced that this whole ordeal was a terrible idea, but making Arthur that purely ecstatic? Magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, as always!


	5. Lots of Trouble (you'll get the joke)

The  _ hardest _ part about faking learning magic in front of Arthur was deciding what was the earliest he could believably start using his magic for his chores. Washing Arthur’s clothes?  Polishing his armor? Mucking out the stables? Of course, this dilemma didn’t hit Merlin until it was too late; specifically, a week after he’d been given the task of court sorcerer.

About fifteen household items, including mops, wash rags, and scrub brushes were working on every surface in Arthur’s chambers while Merlin sat in Arthur’s desk chair, feet up and whistling a tune. 

“Merlin, I wanted to ask-”

Arthur got a foot in the room before he was smacked in the face by a stray mop. “Arthur!” Merlin yelped, jumping to his feet. His mind offered up a helpful dose of AHHHHHHH, and so he went with it. “AH-I-uh-SEVEN SECONDS! Personal record!” He continued to yell, cheer, and jump around, eventually getting to a thoroughly confused Arthur, who began to jump and yell along with him. 

“WHAT PERSONAL RECORD?”

“OF HOLDING UP MOPS!”

“OH! THAT’S… GREAT! CONGRATULATIONS!” Arthur cheered proudly. 

Needless to say, Merlin didn’t want another close call like that.

               ----------------------------------------------------------------------

Gwen stopped him in the hallway one afternoon. “Did you hear?” she whispered urgently. Merlin shook his head.

“What is it?”

“The spies have come back from Essetir, with terrible tales about Lot, the king who took control after Cenred’s death. They say he is planning an attack. Merlin, I think you need to speak with Arthur.” 

Merlin stared at her. “What could I possibly do?”  

Gwen looked nervously down the hallway, making sure they were alone before continuing. “Merlin, I won’t say it. I won’t even make you say it. But you can be truthful with me.” Merlin couldn’t lie to her, not when she so obviously knew. 

“When did you find out?” 

“The battle of Camlan.” 

“Gwen, I’m sorry-” 

“Nonsense!” Her tone was stern, but she gave him a hug that just about cracked his ribs. For someone so small, she had amazing upper body strength. “You never have to apologize for who you are. I just wish… you didn’t have to hide it, even now,” Here it was. She wanted him to tell Arthur. 

“Gwen, I can’t. You of all people  _ must _ understand that. Arthur would never forgive me; he would never trust me again. And he needs me, Gwen.” 

Gwen nodded solemnly. “Now more than ever. I just think, Merlin, that you don’t always give him enough credit.” 

Gaius appeared around the corner. “Merlin! There you are! Arthur is requesting your attendance at the Round Table immediately.” 

“Requesting me?” Merlin murmured incredulously.

“You are the Court Sorcerer now, Merlin. It is a position of respect.” Gwen reminded him.

Gaius shrugged, a grin on his face. “I’ll revise. It was more like… I believe the kids say… bitching?” 

Gwen let out a snort. “Never mind. Some things never change.” She patted Merlin on the shoulder. “Go on, Merlin. But please do think about what I said.” 

 

By the time Merlin made it down to the Great Hall, he was winded and sweaty. He continued his rush in, bursting through the large wooden doors. 

“Merlin! Nice of you to join us.” Arthur said, looking up to be annoyed for only a second, which was how Merlin knew it was bad.

“What’s happened?” 

Arthur pointed something out to Leon on a map spread out on the table, murmuring, so Gwaine answered Merlin. “King Fucking Lot decided he wasn’t happy terrorizing just one kingdom of people. So he’s decided to take a shot at ours.” 

“When?” Merlin replied anxiously.

Percival answered this time. “Three months. He has his own army, plus two hundred he’s bought out from our enemies.” 

“Merlin,” Arthur finally looked up from the map long enough to look at his friend. “They have sorcerers in their army. We can’t compete with that.”

Merlin swallowed hard. “We can.” 

Almost everyone around the table fell silent at this. They were all still grappling with the fact that magic was legal, and especially that Merlin was the most knowledgeable about it among them. Silence was a common response whenever he spoke about it. Leon, Gwaine, and Percival alone seemed unfazed. 

Arthur was the first to speak. “You’re certain? In three months?”

Gwaine looked Merlin in the eye. “Perhaps if we had the sorcerer from Camlan, we might stand a better chance.”

“Perhaps.” He said quietly. Did he know too? God, was Merlin just terribly obvious all this time and had no idea?

Arthur stood up suddenly and cleared his throat. “This meeting of the Round Table is adjourned. We all know what we need to do moving forward. Godspeed men-” Gwen, having appeared in the time after Merlin came in, cleared her throat loudly. “-and women.”

The room cleared slowly, the knights making their last minute comments and jokes as they filtered out. Gwaine squeezed his shoulder as he passed, and Merlin could’ve been imagining it, but the familiar gesture seemed to him to hold more depth than just a goodbye. He didn’t have enough time to dwell on it, however, because Arthur motioned him closer. “Merlin, I don’t know whether you’re incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.”

Merlin grinned in spite of himself. “One of my finest qualities.”

“I’m inclined to agree.” Arthur wasn’t looking at him, but there was a fond smile on his face that made something in Merlin’s heart jump. 

“Erm, sire?”

“... yes?” Arthur came out of whatever daydream he was in, finally turning to face Merlin. He seemed a little disconnected now that he wasn’t in front of all of his knights.

“Are you alright?”

Arthur again took his time to answer. He took a deep breath. “I am… I will be.” He sighed deeply. “It’s funny, in the back of my head, I had the idea that everything after Morgana would be… fine. Not easy, maybe, but… better. But now, with Lot taking over right where Cenred left off… do the villains ever stop coming?”

Merlin chuckled bitterly. “I don’t think so. But we can defeat Lot, and we will. Together.”

“Merlin,” Arthur started, then stopped. “I was thinking, it might be apt for us to strategize every so often, me as head of army strategies, you as head of magic strategies…”

“I  _ am  _ the magic strategy.”

Arthur snorted. “Alright, just, report to my chambers on Tuesday mornings.” Back to king mode. Merlin was well versed in the Pendragons’ emotional- vulnerability-then- straight-to-barking-orders move, so he let it pass. Plus, he was pretty sure he just scheduled a regular Tuesday morning brunch date with the love of his life, so he was pretty willing to let some things go for the time being. Including figuring out exactly who knew he had magic, and if he had to worry about them letting that slip to Arthur.

Never mind. He was worried.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A PLOT? A PLOT! Finally! Alright, well you made it this far, don't stop now :D Seriously, thank you all for continuing to read this story; every little (or big) comment brightens my day, so I hope I can brighten yours with this fic. Special thanks to my new partner in crime, Gen, it's because of her I've found this much structure in the story in the first place. Love you all, see you next week.


	6. A Wizard in King's Clothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The schedule might be a little off for these couple weeks (as evidenced as this chapter being a day early), but I'm going to try my best to get it close, if for no one's peace of mind than my own. Much love, as always

First things first, study up on battle spells. No, first things first, find out which of the knights knew he had magic. No, first things first, do Arthur’s laundry.

Merlin had a couple things on his mind.

He settled on the laundry, firstly because it was the one problem which required the least amount of thought and/or stress, and secondly because he was tired of Arthur smelling like he had lost a fight with a donkey. He had to spend practically every waking moment with the guy; it wouldn’t do for him to act like an ass and smell like one too. 

“Merlin!” Leon exclaimed cheerfully as he wandered into the antechamber of the knights’ changing room, surprised to see Merlin shoving Arthur’s clothes roughly around a washbasin. 

“I would’ve thought you’d be using a magic wand for that kind of thing by now!” Merlin shrugged and poked at a particularly dirty trouser leg. 

“Eh, you know, sometimes you just want to work with your hands, right?” He mimicked strong-arming the clothes and Leon laughed. A little bit of macho-Merlin humor was always a hit with the knights. Inwardly, Merlin guiltily admitted he was doing this by hand to continue procrastinating.

“Hey, Merlin, you don’t have to pretend around me,  you know ,” Leon looked at him with what Merlin could have sworn was a touch of sympathy. It made his whole body light up with panic. So Leon knew too?

“It’s okay if you’re still getting the basics down. There’s no shame in switching back to manual labour if you can’t get quite get the spell right.”

Merlin was struck speechless. He bobbed his head along dumbly a couple times, and Leon seemed to take that as agreement, smiling warmly. “Th-thanks, Leon.” he stammered finally. 

“Anytime, Merls,” he waved over his shoulder as he went back into the changing room, greeting the rest of the knights and Arthur as they came in from the training yard. 

_ “Merlin!” _

Merlin groaned. That yell never meant good things for him. “Yes, my lord?” Merlin walked wearily to Arthur’s side, almost successfully ignoring all the knights undressing around him. Definitely not successfully ignoring how very shirtless and sweaty Arthur was. Or how much he reeked. You have to take the good with the bad. 

“Where are my clothes?” Oh no. Oh god. There was that clipped and careful tone Arthur always uses right before Merlin realizes he… royally screwed up.

“Oh. Erm… which clothes would that be sire?” 

“Merlin…” 

“Now, sire, I was actually doing you a favor-”

“Merlin, I am meeting a very important trade delegation in thirty minutes. Tell me I’m not going to have to kill you  _ and _ get ready in that time?” Merlin swallowed hard, dread hitting him like a pile of rocks. 

“Magic, Merlin!” Percival called over a crowd of heads. 

“Magic?” Merlin repeated in bewilderment.

Gwaine appeared behind Merlin from the middle of a mass of knights. “Yes, Merlin. Magic. You have that?”

Merlin gaped in utter shock at his own stupidity. “I do! I mean, I can use it-” He clamped his mouth shut before he could half give away anymore secrets. 

Did Gwaine word his sentence that way on purpose? 

Arthur grabbed his shoulders and began pushing him through the rest of the knights to where his clothes sat drifting sadly in a tub of suds. 

“Um, let’s see…” he stood there, staring at the tub as if trying to remember a spell he wanted to use.

“Need any help there, Merls?” Leon poked his head back into the chamber.

“How could you possibly help him with magic, Leon?” Arthur asked quizzically. Leon shrugged, conceding his point. 

“Emotional support?” Leon offered.

Merlin shook his head as if attempting to clear it. “Thanks Leon, but I’ve got this.” 

‘Oh, he’s got it!’ Arthur mouthed to Leon, putting his hands up mockingly. 

Merlin saw him in the reflection of a looking glass and smirked, flicking his finger and and murmuring a spell. Arthur’s hand flew back a couple inches off course and hit him squarely in the nose. Leon burst out laughing, and Merlin grinned. 

“I know you did that, wizard!” Arthur chided. “Now if only you could put all that cleverness into something actually  _ useful.”  _

Merlin rolled his eyes and performed the spell, making sure to stutter a few times and drop a few things on the floor. Each mess up elicited a heckling from Arthur, but by the time he was finished, Arthur actually looked impressed. His formal royal garments looked cleaner and more orderly than ever before, and they actually smelled kind of nice.

“Well, Merlin, if this proves one thing, it proves how lousy you are at washing my clothes by hand.” Arthur shrugged on his clothes and let Merlin make adjustments. 

“I wouldn’t have to wash them so much if you could learn how to eat without spilling all over yourself, my lord,” Arthur swatted Merlin softly on the side of the head. 

“Shut up.”

“My lord, the trade delegation are approaching the city gates.” A servant announced to the room, appearing suddenly in the doorway and disappearing just as quickly. Arthur nodded, instantly serious. Then he looked at Merlin. 

“What the hell are you wearing?!” He blurted out. Merlin’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Erm, the same thing I always wear?” He tugged at his red scarf as if to prove his point. 

“Merlin, you can’t possibly meet the trade delegation dressed like  _ that _ .” Arthur rolled his eyes and grabbed  his arm, beginning to drag him up the stairs to the belly of the castle.

“ _ I’m meeting the trade delegation? _ ” 

Arthur paused and turned around to face Merlin on the stairs. “This delegation will be our first trade deal of goods involving magical items. So yes, my Court Sorcerer, however much an  _ idiot  _ he may be,  _ has  _ to be there!” 

“Why did no one tell the  _ Court Sorcerer  _ about any of this?” Merlin muttered grumpily. Arthur looked at him sourly.

“I’ve only been talking about it nonstop for the past three weeks. Really Merlin, do you ever listen?” 

“Ah, that would be the problem. No.” 

Arthur huffed and turned on his heel, continuing his hurried pace. Merlin started to jog to keep up with his long strides. “Where the hell are we going? I don’t have any nice clothes. And I am  _ not  _ wearing that  _ stupid _ jester costume again.” Arthur let out a breathless laugh. 

“You’ll just wear some of my clothes. It’ll be fine.” 

Merlin tugged on Arthur’s arm to get him to slow down. “Arthur. You are so much bigger than me, I’ll never fit in your clothes.”

Arthur kept walking. “That’s very kind of you, Merlin, but you’ll just have to deal with the extra crotch space.” Merlin stood stock still, watching Arthur’s back incredulously, knowing the stupid self-satisfied look he had on his face. 

“Really? A dick joke? That’s what you decided on?”

“Come  _ on _ , Merlin!”

\-------

Merlin was fairly sure he looked like an idiot. He was dressed in Arthur’s clothes, alright: baggy brown pants met a baggy blue shirt, topped off with a … okay, the red cape wasn’t baggy, but that was it. Even the shoes were too big. 

“I look ridiculous.” 

Arthur looked him up and down, a somewhat pained expression on his face. “No… you-” he cleared his throat. “You don’t.” Merlin narrowed his eyes at him.

“Arthur, all the things in the world to make fun of me for, and you don’t choose this moment?” Arthur gave Merlin another once-over then cleared his throat, turning away. 

“Let’s just go. The delegation will be arriving any minute.” 

Merlin followed reluctantly, muttering spells to just  _ slightly  _ shorten and tighten his clothes, hoping he would remember to undo them before Arthur tried to wear them next. He didn’t need to be told off for another laundry incident today.

He was almost feeling good about himself and confident for this meeting, he was almost all the way down the front palace steps, in fact, when he saw someone who could cause very big problems for him. The person leading the delegation. Gilli.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you don’t remember him, Gilli’s from episode 3.11, The Sorcerer’s Shadow. He’s magic ring guy of questionable moral character, if that helps.


	7. Merlin’s Got a Baaad Feeling about This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilli is here, Merlin is freaking out, Arthur is tipsy

 

“Sir Gilli, it’s a honor to have you here.” Arthur declared. “But before we go inside, I’d like you to meet my ser- Court Sorcerer, Merlin.” Gilli stuck out a hand politely in Merlin’s direction. Merlin, however, was too far away to reach it, seeing as he was currently frozen in place three steps above the delegation.

“Merlin,” Arthur muttered. He prodded Merlin in the side, causing him to stumble forward. He would’ve fallen headfirst into Gilli, had it not been for Arthur grabbing a rather rough handful of Merlin’s tunic. 

“...Hi,” Merlin said lamely, his heart racing. 

He took Gilli’s hand, desperately trying to read the expression in his eyes, but found it utterly impossible. The only hint of familiarity he managed to deduce was the familiar feel of the magic ring which remained on Gilli’s finger after all these years. 

“Alright then,” Arthur steered Merlin around and led the way into the castle, the only indication of his frustration being an exasperated sigh. Merlin thought this meeting was going just about as well as he expected.

The party made their way to the Great Hall, now tastefully decorated in the Pendragon colours, a feast laid out on the tables.

“Tonight, you are Camelot’s honored guests.” Arthur gestured warmly to the room. “So please, rest from your journey and enjoy yourselves. Serious talks can wait until tomorrow.” The delegation nodded their heads thankfully, a few of them immediately heading toward the trays of cheese and salted meat that were laid out. Nobles, knights, and peasants alike started to trickle into the hall. Merlin was undistracted by the grandeur of the feast, his gaze firmly focused on the delegates. He didn’t immediately recognize any other faces, although one woman wore the unmistakable markings of a Druid. 

“Come on, Merlin, let’s go,” Arthur nudged Merlin’s shoulder, forcing him forward and interrupting his assessment. It could have been him just being paranoid, but Merlin swore he felt eyes watching him from within the crowd. 

It was only when the feast officially started that Merlin truly began to feel nervous. He was seated next to Arthur, Gwen having been charmed away to sit with two enamoured delegates. Gilli was seated on the other side of Arthur, and he was definitely staring at Merlin.

“Gilli, forgive me, how long has it been since we last saw each other?” Arthur questioned.

“Hm… I believe it’s been nearly four years, my lord’ Gilli responded, following a pause for deliberation, “Not since the Decennial Tournament.”

“Ah yes, you almost defeated my-  father, if I recall correctly.” 

Merlin was relieved to hear that Arthur only left a momentary pause between ‘my’ and ‘father’ this time. Ever since the ban on magic was lifted, Arthur had a hard time talking about Uther, as if he hated to be reminded that the same man who’d loved and raised him had committed such terrible acts against innocent people. It had made for some horribly awkward moments for the both of them, but this time, he just breezed right through. 

“I don’t suppose that had anything to do with that?” Arthur asked, pointing to the ring on Gilli’s finger, his tone far more threatening than he intended. 

Gilli only nodded with a small smile. “I was just a boy then. A young, foolish boy.” He looked up to Merlin as he said it, a peculiar expression across his features. But now I am older and wiser, and my trials have only made my true path clearer. Here in this delegation is exactly the place where I am supposed to be.”

Arthur grinned, his suspicion seemingly reeceded. “Camelot couldn’t be happier about these trade talks. They are a historic first step in the diplomacy of magical kingdoms.” 

“Of course.” Gilli took a long drink of his wine, facing Merlin, “I’m glad to see  _ you  _ finally getting the respect you deserve, Merlin.” 

Merlin almost choked on his food in an attempt to think up an explanation for such a remark.

“The respect he deserves?” Arthur asked with a perplexed expression. His head swiveled back and forth from Gilli to Merlin. 

“I helped Gilli when he was injured in the tournament, my lord!” Merlin bellowed desperately, causing everyone close by to wince. “What can I say, sire,” he continued hastily, “when you heal someone from an infected knife wound, you do earn a certain degree of admiration.  _ That _ , and the fact that I had to deal with a great prat like you all day long. Hell, I should’ve had a feast in my honor just for that.” 

Arthur stared at Merlin for a few moments, bewildered, opting to laugh at his friend rather than question Merlin’s sudden “speech”; whether this leniency came from intoxication or good mood, Merlin wasn’t sure. He didn’t usually laugh after Merlin called him a prat in front of important people. At this point, though, Merlin didn’t really care about the reason. He just stared diligently at Gilli’s face and willed him to agree with his story.

“Yes, my lord. Merlin is quite the wizard,” Gilli responded without breaking eye contact with his fellow sorcerer, an unreadable expression on his face, “With his hands, that is.”

“Oh, I’ve imagined.” said Arthur dreamily. Merlin choked loudly on his drink.

“I mean, I’d imagine!” Arthur corrected quickly.

It was definitely the wine. 

 

Merlin liked Drunk Arthur more and more as the night went on. He seemed determined to veer off official topics, which Merlin considered in the danger zone, with present company, and instead onto outrageous stories of his adventures. At one point in the night, he and Gwaine, swapping haphazardly between sentences (read: drunkenly yelling), told the story of their first pub fight together. 

 

By the time Merlin had hauled a stumbling Arthur (still swearing that he was not even a little bit drunk) to his chambers and made his way to his own, he was so exhausted he had no time to think about Gilli or what his presence could mean for his secret. His worry only returned when he was awoken by a sharp rapping on his bedroom door. 

“What is it?” he groaned, light streamed mercilessly through his window, as he used a pillow to cover his eyes. 

“It’s me, Merlin. Gilli.” 

Well, that was one way to wake up. Merlin scrambled out of bed and wrenched open the door. “Erm, come in, then,” he stepped aside to allow him in. Gilli entered slowly, taking in his surroundings, including the magic books piled high in plain sight. 

“I had quite the time last night, Merlin.” he circled around the room, his eyes scanning like a predator searching for prey. Merlin didn’t like that. 

“I especially enjoyed reminiscing. Strange, isn’t it, how your mind remembers things differently?” Gilli postulated. Any hint of malice in his tone was hidden behind his warm expression. “Almost like it can invent something completely contrary from what truly happened?” Gilli finished nonchalantly, staring at his ringed finger.

Merlin shifted uneasily. “I’m sorry I had to do that, Gilli, but Arthur doesn’t know-”

“That you’re a natural sorcerer.  _ Born of magic.”  _ Gilli suggested, his warm expression vanishing.

“Yes.”

“Last time we talked, Merlin, we talked of betraying our kind. Of cowardice and nobility.” Merlin nodded nervously; his throat was so dry he could barely swallow.

“There is nothing noble about hiding who you are. Not when you could so easily tell the truth.” Gilli sounded disappointed, looking at Merlin as one would look at a fallen hero. 

“It’s more complicated than that!” Merlin responded angrily. “You wouldn’t understand.” 

“Of course, what would I know? I’m just the representative for Caerleon. Your ally, not to mention the largest producer of magical goods in the Five Kingdoms. The first kingdom, I might remind you, to voice its opposition to the persecution of sorcerers. What could I possibly know about the ramifications of legalizing magic?” 

“Gilli, please.” Merlin begged.

“No!” Gilli shouted, grabbing him roughly by the tunic.

“The last time we met, you were so  _ sure  _ that you knew everything about being a sorcerer. So sanctimonious! So righteous! And look who’s still ashamed. Look who’s still hiding when everyone else is out of the closet.” Gilli released Merlin’s tunic with a disgusted expression, letting him stumble backward on his own.

Recovering his footing, Merlin took a long breath, willing the tears of either anger or shame to fade away. “I serve my king, and I serve him well. The rest is none of your concern.”

“Well,” Gilli objected, a dark energy bubbling in his eyes, “That’s not entirely true, for I serve my monarch well, too.” 

Merlin hung his head. “What do you want from me, Gilli?” he asked quietly.

“It’s not what I want from you, Merlin. It’s what I want from Camelot.” He responded. A wicked smile played across Gilli’s face, and Merlin was reminded of watching him drive a sword through his opponent mercilessly in the Decennial Tournament all those years ago. He felt like the opponent.

“The trade deal.” Merlin realized with a defeated tone.

“The trade deal, indeed!” Gilli’s tone dripped with bitter satisfaction. “It’s simple, Merlin, very simple indeed. You simply accept our first offer of trade, and no one has to know your dirty little secret.” Gilli smiled triumphantly. 

Merlin scoffed. “You can’t expect to just name a price, Gilli! Arthur won’t just accept any whatever you say; he isn’t an idiot!”

“Well, you’ll just have to make him see reason, Merlin, as _ Court Sorcerer _ .” Gilli laughed smugly as he walked towards the door, turning back one last time. “That is, of course, unless you’re ready to come out.” 

With that, he left, shutting the door with a resounding thud. Merlin collapsed back onto his bed, overcome with emotion. 

Arthur had entrusted him with this position. Entrusted him with this delegation. And no matter what Merlin told Gilli, he knew Arthur would take Merlin’s word for whatever he said about the trade deal. 

To betray his trust in an effort to keep it, or tell the truth and lose everything?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's been the sweetest about this fic, and I love you all. That's all I've got for this week, folks, see you soon and talk to you sooner


	8. Merlin Gets in Bed with Kings and Sorcerers

Merlin approach ed the Great Hall  as if he was approaching his doom,  a sensation he ought to be familiar with ,  seeing as he’s approached his doom several times before. This time , however, felt like he was being led to  choose between two doors, each leading to a specific cross-section  of his own private hell hidden behind them. 

“Merlin, there you are!” Speaking of hell. “I am so  _ very excited  _ to get to work with you today!” Gilli’s hand on Merlin’s back sent a shiver up his spine. Luckily, he was spared of having to  come up with a reply, by Arthur  entering close behind them. 

“Gentlemen! I’m glad to see you’re getting close! Just not too close, eh?” Arthur laughed and winked, nudging Merlin in the side. Merlin would’ve rolled his eyes, except being in such close proximity to the two people he had to choose between, was making him nauseous. He tried to jab Arthur back anyway, but found he just couldn’t find anything in him that wanted to cause Arthur pain. Not when he was already doing that, layering betrayal on betrayal. 

“Let’s just get this over with.” he said softly. 

 

All throughout the opening formalities, Merlin felt dread invading his mind and crawling up his sides like an infection. His legs, barely supporting his weight, buckled slightly when he stood to be formally introduced to the delegation, and from the looks the delegates were giving him, he wasn’t hiding it very well. 

The moment that Arthur sat down and the delegation stood up  to present their position , Merlin knew that it was all over. He would have to make  an impossible choice. So, when Arthur finally settled into the chair beside him, Merlin had to intentionally grind his teeth together to stop from asking for a piss break, or a tea break, or a ‘fall-on-my-sword-before-I-can-  destroy -your-trust-in-me’ break!

Merlin’s breathing was fast and shallow by the time Gilli stood. He opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly the delegate beside him put a powerful hand on his arm. The extravagantly robed man lowered his hood, making eye contact with Arthur as he gave him a short bow, his hand still firmly grasping Gilli’s bicep. From the way Gilli’s lips seemed to be sealed together  and his brow furrowing deeply , Merlin guessed that the man's hand was holding a silencing spell in place. Arthur looked on innocently, nodding his head as if the shift in leadership was nothing to make a fuss about. And Merlin supposed it wouldn’t have been, if he didn’t know Gilli’s need for dominance so very well. 

“King Arthur, the delegation is overjoyed to hear your enthusiasm for this meeting of minds, and we look forward to working with you and your court.”  The man’s soft but commanding voice filled the room. “However, before we begin talks of trade, there is a rather serious matter we  must discuss.”

 

Merlin’s breath caught in his throat. Was Gilli going back on their deal after all? Had he rallied the delegation in his righteous anger and decided to truly seal his fate?

 

“There is a traitor among us. One who claims magic as his trade, but goes against the sacred bond of magic people for his own gain.”  The man announced coldly. His stare washed over the whole of the hall, as if was deciding who was guilty party.

Oh god. Oh god, they were doing it. Merlin’s legs started to shake, but he rose anway, pushing his chair behind him with a loud screech. “I-” Merlin’s mouth  suddenly clamped shut of its own will. He tried to open it again, desperately pulling at his jaws, but found it impossible. Just as the thought registered that he too had been placed under a silencing spell, he heard a voice unlike his own in his head. 

_ “No, Emrys.”  _ The voice warned.

Merlin’s head snapped up, searching the crowd for eyes on him. He found, unsurprisingly, that they all were. His eyes were drawn to landed on the Druid woman to the right of Gilli and he knew. She nodded her head only slightly. _“Trust me.”_ the calm voice in his head instructed. 

He could open his mouth again. Merlin used this  opportunity to take a deep breath, and then took a  huge leap of faith. “I…urge you to name this traitor!” Stumbling  at the beginning , but ended on a confident note as he sat down, ignoring the slightly confused look he felt from Arthur. 

“Your majesty,” the druid woman continued for the robed man. 

“The traitor is none other than the leader of our delegation, Gilli!” 

A gasp flew around the room, quickly followed by badly contained whispers among the court .

“Silence!” Arthur boomed, bringing the panicked hall back down to a suitable volume . “What has Gilli done to be considered a traitor to his kind?”  He questioned unbelievingly.

Merlin stopped breathing. His eyes went instantly to the druid’s, where she was looking back at him with a fierce glint in her eye. “The act is not of import, my lord, simply rest assured that justice will be served in the right time. By his own kind.” The look that she gave Gilli now was positively murderous. A few of the delegates led Gilli away, shooting Merlin sly glances that seemed very obvious to Merlin. He averted his eyes, only allowing himself to look back up when they were all seated once more

As the trade talks  were put back on track , now with the robed man leading the conversation, Merlin found he couldn’t keep his mind on the meeting at hand.  Feeling numb with relief he blocked out the discussions occurring around him and shot a glance up to the druid woman, catching her eye. It was strange, but she reminded him of his mother. 

_ “We are with you, Emrys. When Gilli told us of his plans, we could not believe his treachery, if you  _ _ choose to _ _ stay hidden, we trust you have a reason.”  _ _ She said reassuringly. _ _ “But the reason does not matter  _ _ to us _ _. More than anything in this time of new acceptance, sorcerers must find friends in each other, rather than enemies. You can trust that you are among friends now.”  _

_ “Thank you.”  _ Merlin thought desperately. He felt hot prickling at the corners of his eyes as he looked around the room, the fleeting glances of the delegation all filled with a set determination and warmth. For the first time in his life, he felt as though he had an army behind him. Yes, something like an army. Or  perhaps a family  who knew and accepted the real him . 

 

“Merlin, stand up!” Arthur hissed some time later. Merlin stood up with a start, feeling eerily similar to his former outburst. But Arthur was simply informing the room that the talks for today were concluded, to be discussed and revisited another day. “And tonight, our guests will be escorted to a local drinking establishment, by the Court Sorcerer! I know for a fact that Merlin knows his way to the tavern, and  I have no doubt  that there is no better place to introduce the common people to magic, than in those establishments where they feel most at home.”  Arthur announced, ignoring the exaggerated eye roll Merlin gave him. 

The meeting dispersed and Merlin perked up, he’d almost forgotten about his diplomatic duties for the evening. Now,  however , the task seemed less like walking into a snake pit and more like walking into the sunlight. 

“Alright, then, I’ll see you later, yeah?” Merlin said airily, squeezing  Arthur’s shoulder to get his attention away from the knight he was speaking to. 

“Hm?”  Arthur said, turning away from the knight. “Oh yes, Merlin, stop by my chambers before you head to your room tonight, there are some matters which I’d like to discuss.” 

Gwaine let out a low wolf whistle behind them, making Leon burst out laughing and Percival cover his mouth with his wrist to contain his laughter. Merlin was sure it was only bad timing, but his face went beet red anyway.

“Yes right...erm, of course, sire,” he tacked onto the awkwardness with a double thumbs up, immediately regretting how juvenile it must’ve looked. 

\-----------------------

Merlin  left with the delegation. No one said a word until they were sitting, somewhat cramped, around the largest table the local tavern had. The fifteen people all looked at Merlin expectantly; having gotten their drinks there was nothing else to wait for but the truth.

“So, erm, the thing is-” 

_ “Emrys. You need not fear our judgement. Just tell us the truth,  _ _ if you desire to do so. _ _ ”  _

Merlin was really starting to like Phemaldione, as he’d learned was the Druid woman’s name. 

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Arthur had just made the decision to lift the ban on magic. I was the first person he told, so that he could ask if I wanted this job, I mean.” He flailed his arm about uselessly and sighed. “He kept going on about how much he could trust me and how he was so wrong about magical people’s inherent evil, and I just couldn’t shake the feeling that finding out his most trusted friend had been lying to him about having magic all along would  put his goodwill  towards magic into doubt. So when he asked me to become the Court Sorcerer, I  immediately  accepted. And now,  If I stop lying ,  I will ruin his trust in me.” He looked around the table at the people listening attentively  to his story gratefully . “Something you saved me from today, also. Thank you.” 

The robed man put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder reassuringly. “We have all been put into difficult situations,  during this transitional period. If placed in such a fragile position as the one you  have found yourself in, I’m sure we would have all done the same.” 

“Of course! It’s just a shame, though. After  all you’ve done…” A young blonde added,  trailing off expectantly . 

“After everything I’ve done?” Merlin repeated. His furrowed his brows in confusion.

Phemaldione replied this time. “Emrys, since the beginning of your time here in Camelot, whispers of your heroics have been heralded among the five kingdoms. By the name of Emrys of course, but I’m afraid Gilli let the cat out of the bag on that one when he told us of your secret.”

“Yeah, I’ll let a cat out of his bag…” the blonde muttered darkly. Phemaldione quieted her  with a gesture , but Merlin leaned forward in his curiosity.

“What will you do to him?” He asked. “ As much as I may despise him, I want to know what kind of a trial or punishment he will receive. I don’t want his blood on my hands.”

“It wouldn’t be!” the blonde said lightly. 

“As the new leader of the delegation, I can assure you, the trial will be a fair one and you will have no blood on your hands, Emrys. Any blood spilled is the fault of his own scheming.”

A solemn silence descended over the table. It was interrupted by a huff from the excitable blonde. “Okay, guys, we get that you’re all dying to be good and just, but can we get the greatest sorcerer of all time to buy us shots now?”  She cheered, and the rest of the group heartily agreed .

* * *

 

Merlin wouldn’t say he was drunk. Tipsy, yes, but he could walk back to the castle on his own just fine. “Yes, I can, thank you very much, sir…” Merlin muttered lazily, tapping the nearest decorative suit of armor on the helmet. He giggled airly at the echo it caused through the hallway and continued on his route. He was sure the warmth he was feeling down to his toes right now had much more to do with the people he had just left behind than the alcohol coursing through his veins. That, and the fact that he was going to see Arthur.

He didn’t knock on Arthur’s door, just straightened out the guard’s uniform for him and walked in. The candle at the desk was burning low, and Arthur sat slumped forward in his chair, cheek to paper and hair splayed out wildly. Fast asleep.

“Arthur…” Merlin whispered, but he knew it was hopeless. Arthur slept like a drugged horse. He  would b e asleep until morning, but he couldn’t turn around and leave him in such an uncomfortable position, so he walked around to the other side of the desk and heaved at Arthur’s midsection. Arthur let out a small sigh, but stayed asleep, and Merlin cursed him for all his heavy muscle. 

But Merlin had muscles too, and he used them, slowly but surely, to drag Arthur until he could flop him onto his bed. Tugging off his own shoes as well as Arthur’s, he decided that was as far undressed as he was comfortable undressing Arthur. At least, that is, when he was unconscious and Merlin still had a huge crush on him. Instead, he simply took off his belt, lifted the covers, and rolled Arthur under them. Of course, because of the full body rolling tactic he was using (he was only tipsy!), he ended up as the big spoon under the covers of Arthur’s bedspread. 

Arthur was happily leaning into him, and it was so warm under the covers, and the walk back to his chambers would be so cold and dark, and maybe it was okay if Merlin just closed his eyes for a second…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks, the schedule got a bit mixed up, but I think it'll be back to normal next week, so that's something. Hope you liked this chapter (our man finally has a little support!). I'm very excited about the next chapter, which you'll be getting in just a few days.


	9. The Morning After is a Pill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up in bed with your crush can either be a nightmare or a dream. For these two? The latter truth ensures the former reality.

Arthur woke up feeling cosy, warm, and utterly content. That was the first sign he knew something was  definitely wrong. The second  being a painfully pale arm wrapped loosely around his chest,  producing that safe feeling . His eyes widened as he turned over to see Merlin attached to it.

“What the absolute…” he muttered, thinking very hard about last night. No, he definitely didn’t remember anything close to Merlin  being in his bed. In fact, he  couldn’t remember Merlin ever showing up to his quarters last night at all. He felt a hand squeeze his chest. That was right,  Arthur recalled somewhat irritated , he’d been far too busy having fun with his new magic friends. 

He scoffed at himself, rolling out of Merlin’s grasp as carefully as possible  to avoid waking him . It was ridiculous to feel like  _ that _ toward the delegates, of course Merlin was going to enjoy himself with a group of like-minded individuals, who were so important to the kingdom. Arthur couldn’t really be feeling  _ jealous  _ of them right now, could he? No… that was preposterous. Nothing to feel jealous of  ,Arthur assured himself . He didn’t really care that Merlin had brushed him off, no, he must just be… cranky. Yes. Cranky that apparently his court sorcerer was too lazy or drunk to make it down the three extra stairwells to his rooms. 

“I am the king, Merlin, when will you start to understand that I am not your…  _ frat buddy  _ that you can bunk with when you feel tipsy…” Arthur started to speak louder to himself, annoyed that he had to deal with this so early in the morning. Then Gwen came in. 

“My lord, I heard you starting to rise…”  She started, a tray of food in her arms. “Oh?” She stopped, eyes fixed on Merlin, who, Arthur noticed with a slight degree of panic, was  obviously shirtless. “I did not mean to intrude…” Gwen responded slyly, a skeptical tone in her voice.

Merlin stirred where he was, letting out a long yawn. “You are not- intruding! On anything!” Arthur  said as he shook his head gesturing no, he felt his face flush, and he reached down to tuck in his shirt in nervously. Realizing too late, how much it would look like dressing himself. Like he’d been  _ undressed _ . With Merlin. 

“Merlin is just an idiot,”  he said as he grabbed and bunched up some paper from his desk and threw it at Merlin, who finally started to tune into his surroundings. “Who passed out here after getting spectacularly drunk with his fabulous new friends!” he hated himself for the bitter jealousy that wrapped around his chest. “Believe me, that would never- I would never- the very  _ thought _ -”, the very thought of him being some jealous schoolboy with a crush sickened him,  Arthur rambled frantically to Gwen . Yet Merlin took a different meaning to his words, not having heard the private musings of Arthur’s brain. Arthur  glanced over  in time to see a  brief  look of hurt flit across Merlin’s features, only to be replaced just as quickly by one of shame and embarrassment. 

“Don’t flatter yourself, _my lord,_ ” Merlin responded with heavy emphasis, “I was simply too intoxicated to know your chambers apart from the comfort of the horse stables. By the sight of them, I could probably make the same mistake sober.” He finished with a cutting tone.

“And whose fault is that,  _ servant _ ?” Arthur spit out, another wave of hurt crossing over himself, at Merlin’s words. On a normal day, the same things could have been said between them in a perfectly friendly manner, but today it seemed, was no ordinary day. Gwen recognized the shift in tone, clearing her throat awkwardly in the silence that followed. 

“I’ll just leave your breakfast here then, sire. We can dine together another time.” Merlin let out a small squeak, squeezing his eyes shut where he stood. He tried taking deep breaths, reminding himself of his place; of course it was Arthur and Gwen, it had always been Arthur and Gwen, and it always would be. 

“Don’t bother, Gwen, I was just leaving.”  He said quietly as, he  hurriedly tugged on his shirt and carried his boots with him, carefully not looking at either of them as he left the room. He would have given anything in the world to go back to last night and just go to his own chambers. But, of course, he never had much discernment when it came to Arthur Pendragon.

\-----------------------------------------------

Merlin bathed, redressed, and tried to forget that he, as an entity, existed. It was very difficult when people were always coming up to him and trying to talk to him, however, and it became increasingly impossible when he realized that he and Arthur still needed to discuss the delegations’ offers.

Which is how he found himself  begrudgingly dragging  his feet along  the hallway floor towards the door to Arthur’s chambers just before the start of the court meeting. He ignored the stares he got from the guards for walking so slowly along the corridor, speeding up only when  he noticed Arthur was exiting the room. 

“Arthur!” Merlin started, then stopped. 

Arthur turned toward him, an expression of fixed neutrality on his face, and waited. Merlin faltered under the gaze. “I see- I see that you’ve successfully dressed yourself.” The quip fell flat and stilted even to his ears, and he winced.

“And I see you’ve done a marginally better job at that than last night,” Arthur answered. His cheeks flushed the slightest pink when he realized the implications of the words, and he looked around self-consciously at the guards still flanking them. “Shall we walk?”

Merlin nodded. “I, um, think that the delegation’s demands have been very reasonable thus far.” he said formally.

Arthur’s face twisted, in what Merlin presumed was thought. “So you find them trustworthy?”

“Yes, my lord. They seek to further the acceptance of magical people. Greed among allies would do them no good.”  Merlin said assuringly. Arthur stopped; they’d  reached the doors of the Great Hall. He looked at Merlin, and the stony expression on his face melted away. He couldn’t find it in his heart to be distant when Merlin looked so earnest. And Arthur  _ did _ trust his evaluation of the delegation. 

“Okay.”  Arthur agreed, nodding gently .

Merlin twisted his hands behind his back, emboldened by Arthur’s sudden softness. “Arthur, can we talk about about this morning?” 

Arthur opened his mouth as if to speak, his eyebrows furrowed. Then he closed his mouth and turned abruptly on his heel, opening the large wooden door to where the rest of the court and the knights sat waiting. “Let’s just deal with these trade talks, Merlin,” he said finally, leaving Merlin standing lamely in the doorway, alone.

A few days after the delegation left, Merlin carried the knights’ chainmail hauberks down the stairs into the far edge of the training grounds, here he knew no one would find him. 

Merlin hadn’t looked at a magic book in days. He hadn’t even used magic to do any of his chores for Arthur. Ever since Gilli, using magic felt… dirty. Despite the delegations’ actions  and support , Gilli’s scathing words about pride and shame lingered on his mind. He felt like a fake,  questioning if he was really being truthful to himself. His mood wasn’t improved by his  unresolved fight with Arthur, which had left their interactions awkward and unnatural in a way they hadn’t been since Merlin had first been employed as his manservant. He threw down the hauberks, took the rag and cleaning polish out of his satchel, and set to work. He’d even started to do extra chores to distract himself!

It had apparently raised a few flags.

 

“Merlin!” Leon’s familiar  breezy voice called from across the yard. Merlin looked up, squinting into the sun before he could make out the three figures coming toward him. 

“Hey, Merlin, need a hand?”  Percival called, as Gwaine waved enthusiastically

Merlin smiled dutifully  ,as they made their way over , and waved his rag hand in response. “No thanks, guys. I’m okay.” 

Percival and Gwaine exchanged a look. “Hey Merlin,” Gwaine started, sitting cross legged in front of him, “We’ve been thinking…” 

“That’s never good.” Merlin muttered automatically. Gwaine gave him a grin  and a friendly punch that Merlin swatted away . 

“We wanted to learn some magic.” Percival finished. Merlin did a double take.

“You-you what?”  He managed to splutter out.

“Obviously not to the level you’ve been learning,” Leon explained hastily. “But we’ve all been talking, and well, we don’t want to come face to face with a sorcerer on the battlefield and have nothing to throw back.” Leon shrugged. “Only if you’ve got the time.”

Merlin blinked a few times, trying to take it in. He’d never thought of things that way before, but… it  somehow made sense. “Okay.” 

“Okay?”

“Okay!” Merlin stood up eagerly,  a proper smile appearing on his face . “When do you- when do you want to start?” 

“Well, we know you have your strategy talks with Arthur tomorrow. So, the day after?” Leon suggested. 

Percival nodded. “The only thing better than a knight is a knight with magic.” 

Gwaine laughed, standing up to go. “Brilliant! We’ll see you bright and early out here on the training fields, then,” he clapped Merlin on the arm and led the other two away, putting a friendly arm around the both of them as they walked back  toward the castle . 

_ Well,  _ Merlin thought,  _ maybe with teaching the knights some defense, I’ll feel better about doing magic on my own. I had no idea they were so worried about the enemy sorcerers, poor guys.  _

\-----------------------------------------------

“Well lads, I think he bought it!” Gwaine whispered as soon as they were out of earshot of Merlin. 

“Yeah, I really just wanted to help him out a bit. Seems like he’s really been in a slump this past week. I can’t imagine the pressure to learn spells to protect a whole army when you still can’t perfect the one to do laundry.” Leon replied, empathy written in every line on his face. Percival grunted in agreement.

Gwaine shook his head and grinned. “Nothing a little study group with the dream team can’t fix.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone waiting so patiently for me to buckle down and update, going through a dry period of inspiration and motivation is no fun, but your comments and support really help to make it worthwhile. I hope you like this chapter, and keep telling me what you think! I love to hear from you! Also huge thanks to Gen, who is a blessing and a dear and who I need to lovingly kick my ass into gear sometimes <3


	10. Strategizing is an Emotional Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin talk strategy... not really.

Merlin showed up to Arthur’s chambers with a little bit of anxiety. This would be their third strategy meeting, and each one had gone over without so much as a hitch. Which was exactly the problem. It’ s been all business between Arthur and Merlin ever since their fight.

Merlin knew he was mostly to blame. After all, he had been the one foolish enough to think that maybe there was a place for him in Arthur’s heart. And Arthur had made his own feelings  painfully clear on that matter. 

He knocked on Arthur’s door, fully expecting to have to go in and wake Arthur up

himself. Not even  the hustle and bustle of a running a kingdom could make Arthur get out of bed early. He had his hand on the doorknob when Arthur burst through the door. “Merlin!” Arthur acknowledged him. He breezed past Merlin where he still stood in the doorway, carrying a basket.

“Sire, what’s that?” He pointed at the basket in his arms.

Arthur glanced down, his brief lightness seeming to settle into a more concentrated one. “Well, everyone’s been cooped up in the castle for weeks, with preparations for the battle. I thought it would do well to have a break.” Arthur looked up, clearing his throat  nervously , to see Merlin still confused. “I was... thinking we could go out to the lake.” Merlin gaped. 

“The… erm, yes, okay, sire.”

Arthur wrinkled his nose, looking away. “Please, Merlin, I want away from ‘sire’ for just one day. Now come on.” He shoved the basket in Merlin’s direction  and began down the hall .  Merlin followed behind , deciding whether or not to point out the conflict of still having to carry the basket but not having to call the king ‘sire’. Better not; he didn’t want to push his luck. 

They rode out to the lake along a familiar route, both savoring the unusually fair morning weather. Upon reaching the lake, Arthur spread out a blanket he’d been carrying on the back of his horse, letting Merlin lug the picnic basket to the lakeside. Everything struck Merlin as startlingly... romantic.

“So, what, did you and Gwen have to cancel a picnic date?” He asked somewhat bitterly, nudging the basket with his foot. Arthur paused in the act of sitting down, flushing a light pink and looking around at the trappings self-consciously. 

“Merlin, don’t be ridiculous. It’s not like this is… it’s not… too much, is it?” Arthur  was fiddling with his hands in a very unArthur-like way, and Merlin might have softened if he’d seen it. Still, he was focused on further investigating the basket, and he laughed as he opened it. 

“Arthur, there are flowers in here!” He pulled out a bunch of daisies tied together with a rough cord, looking up at Arthur incredulously. Arthur snatched the flowers away from him, hurriedly throwing them to the side as crimson bloomed deeper in his cheeks. 

“I don’t know how those got in there! Must’ve been a mistake-” Arthur cleared his throat and looked away, and Merlin just managed to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest. “Anyway, erm, I’ve brought you out here for… strategy. Magic… strategy.” Arthur was doing that weird twisting thing with his hands again, and Merlin instinctively reached out to still his fidgeting. He only paused when he heard Arthur’s soft intake of breath at the contact. Arthur looked up at Merlin, wide-eyed, and Merlin withdrew his hand jerkily, muttering “sorry” under his breath, the disgust in Arthur’s tone from that morning  rushing back to him. 

“Could we just, erm, relax for a bit, before we start the whole ‘magic army coming to destroy us’ talk again?” he proposed. 

Arthur nodded, a cautious grin on his face. “Always one to find a way to avoid work, aren’t you, Merlin? I should have known.” Merlin responded by lobbing a bread roll from the basket at him, hitting Arthur squarely in the forehead. Arthur stuck his tongue out in return, biting into the roll. 

They’d forgotten their awkwardness for a blessed moment, and neither of them wanted the reprieve to end. So they instead chose to spend a long, languid lunch out by the lake, watching swans flap around the water’s edge and commenting on how much they fucking hate swans. 

“Everyone says swans are so beautiful, but have they ever looked at one up close?”

“Have they ever smelled one up close, you mean!” Arthur corrected, his nose wrinkling as the bird in question tottered several meters away. “Remember that time Gwaine got attacked by a swan?” 

Merlin laughed and nodded. “I’ve never seen someone so scared. The man’s fought whole pubs while drunk off his arse, but he gets too close to one little bird and he’s screaming like a little girl.” 

“Hey, he was bathing and that damn thing was at just the wrong height, I don’t blame him for his fear”  Arthur countered . 

“I do blame him, however, for thinking he could charm a bird out of attacking him.” 

Merlin doubled over with laughter, the memory of a buck naked Gwaine murmuring quietly to the swan right before it squalked and ran at him still too much to bear. 

“Sometimes I miss those days.” Arthur added after a moment. Merlin glanced over to see his expression harden into something that made his face look like  dried clay. 

“Me too.”  He responded quietly .

“Merlin… the other morning… I said some things which I regret.” 

Merlin shook his head hurriedly, a wave of humiliation crashing over him that Arthur thought he needed to spare his feelings. “I was entirely out of line, si- Arthur. I- I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-” 

Arthur scoffed. “God’s sake, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, Merlin! I…” he faltered, the tips of his ears turning pink. “I think I may have overreacted because I was feeling… inadequate.” 

Merlin blanched. Arthur looked like he wanted the world to swallow him up, and Merlin had no idea how to comfort him. His words just seemed so… foreign to Merlin’s Arthur. 

“You… inadequate?” He stuttered.

Arthur smiled bitterly. “It’s because of the delegation, the whole time they were here, I was reminded how in over my head I am.” Arthur sighed. “I just… I don’t know anything about that world. About _your_ world, now.” 

Merlin felt himself tear up a little. Arthur sounded so earnest and sincere, about… _ his world. The world of magic. _

“Leon told me you are going to teach some of the knights?” Merlin pulled himself out of his emotions for a second to nod.  “Could you… teach me? Just something small.” Merlin looked up at Arthur, surprised. He was smiling at Merlin almost shyly.

Merlin nodded, grinning excitedly, and scooted over to where Arthur was half propped up on his elbows. He tried to ignore how close he and Arthur were, almost laying down together, and cleared his throat. 

“Okay… what about… fire.” he said softly. Arthur nodded, looking at him intently. Merlin laughed softly, putting a hand on Arthur’s shoulder. 

“Look, here.” he whispered, waving his other arm to call Arthur’s attention in front of them. “ _ Upastige ignis draca!”  _

A dragon of fire appeared at their feet, floating happily around before dissipating on the wind. Merlin held his breath, waiting for Arthur’s reaction. 

“Come here.” Arthur said suddenly. Merlin looked at him, confused, but Arthur didn’t give him another moment to think. He put a soft hand on Merlin’s cheek, pulling him in and kissing him, slow and sweet. 

Merlin pulled away only when he realized he needed to keep breathing, staring at Arthur with wide eyes. Arthur smiled up at him innocently like he hadn’t just done something ridiculous and crazy and reckless, or maybe like he absolutely had. “Can you teach me?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter. Everybody needs something a little light and fluffy around the holidays, so here you are. :-) I hope your day is a little brighter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'll be trying to update weekly, so get ready for more. Hit me up on tumblr at thegreatestsorcerertoeverserve if you want to talk or you have a request for something for me to write. Also, I live for feedback, so leave some if you have any!


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